Lots of change over the next few months, and certainly over the next year...getting married next summer, launch of the AHSIMC behemoth in just a month now, escalation of promotion behind "Maintain Radio Silence"over the next year, as well as school! And looking for a job next summer! Lots to do!!

I recently discovered this song and it really captures the feeling of questioning what's going on in life at any given moment. Not so much doubting that we are on the correct path, but just kinda taking a step back and looking at the big picture of life, and wondering WHY.

My faith in God only makes me want to ask "why?" even more. I am amazed that my years of prayer regarding my personal life, as well as prayer for the ability to contribute something to the world around me, has been answered in the incredible way it has at this point in August 2004. But it just makes the question of "why?" that much more compelling. Maybe over the next year, it will start to become clearer.

And with my grandmother, the last of my grandparents, on her deathbed even as I write this, the question of "why" takes on a different meaning. Why will she not be able to see me get married? Why does she have to suffer, dying a slow death to cancer?

And of course, I could just as easily ask why has she been allowed to be such a valuable part of my life for so long ... much longer than some people get to have family around them.

Its exactly what John Mayer's asking here. For now, we wait and wonder - and be so grateful for what we do have.

2005 will be a great year.


"Why Georgia" - John Mayer

I am driving up 85
in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon...
just stuck inside the gloom.

4 more exits to my apartment,
but I am tempted to keep the car in drive...
and leave it all behind.

Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome
of a still-verdictless life.

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right??
Am I living it right?
Why ... why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces
with wood in places to make it feel like home...
but all I feel's alone.
It might be a quarter-life crisis,
or just the stirring in my soul.

Either way...
I wonder sometimes, about the outcome
of a still-verdictless life.

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right??
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia? Why?

So what? So I've got a smile on?
Its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.
Don't believe me when I say I've got it down.

Everybody is just a stranger
but that's the danger
in going my own way.

I guess its the price I have to pay.

Still, "everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask myself:

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right??
Am I living it right?
Why? Tell me why...
Why Georgia? Why?